Winter on my aunt's Kentucky farm. |
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Ramblings
If there's one thing I'm sure of is that people change. It's a part of life that I've been especially experiencing recently. I'm in the weirdest transition period of my life now. I'm in limbo between high school and college. I love my family and love being home because of them, but there aren't many friends that I'm super close to in my town. I don't really fit in with the crowd of people around my age and it's hard. I often feel left out, even though it's just a natural separation. It's neither party's fault. It's just life. I t's nothing that I've experienced before. I don't exactly have a group of best friends at UT right now, but that's not expected either because I've only been there for a semester. I have good foundations for friendships though, which is great and I'm really looking forward to building up those relationships this semester. Part of me is looking forward to going back to school, but most of me is not quite ready to go back yet. It's so comfortable at home with my family. I don't like being so far away. I know that they will always be here. If they just weren't so great it wouldn't be so hard to leave. I know as soon as I get back on campus and back into the swing of things, everything will be fine. I really do enjoy being there, it's just hard leaving as soon as I'm comfortable at home again. I'm especially worried because I have no idea what my life will look like after this semester. I would so much rather face this new stage at home with my parents than at school all by myself. I'm learning to truly let the Lord have control and it's quite the challenge, as I'm a control freak and planner. It's becoming pretty clear that the Lord has a different plan for me than what I had originally intended.
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