Sunday, September 30, 2012

Why?

Why is there still so much separation between races in America? I see it so vividly on college campuses, both at UT and Eastern. There are different levels of separation at both places, but why should that matter? The fact is that there is still racial separation amongst our young generation. I am guilty of assisting in the separation by staying within my comfort zone. Humans are more comfortable around people who are most like us, but who is to say that you won't have a lot in common with someone who doesn't seem (outwardly) like you would have any commonalities? I am making an honest effort to stop using terms and sayings such as "ghetto" or "hood" or "gangsta" when describing someone, their actions, their clothes, the way they speak. I hate it. I hate that I have an accent that my friends call my "ghetto accent." It makes me sick to my stomach that I let myself do that. It's putting down other people. It's making fun of others. I'm so sorry. It may be funny to some people, but it's offensive to others. I should only aim to speak words that are pleasing to the Lord. It's easier said that done, but I am going to make a conscious effort to lift up others and stop using those phrases and my accent. It's only encouraging separation amongst people. We claim to be a Christian school, but I don't see a diverse body of Christ functioning and loving each other as Christ loves us. There's separation within the body on campus. I'm not saying that everyone has to be best friends, but a level of respect and openness must be reached. We can talk about it till our faces turn blue, but nothing's going to happen until our words and actions CHANGE. We must be conscious about our thoughts and actions, striving to hold all captive to the Lord. There is hope. We have so much potential. It's not going to be an overnight process, but it is possible. Will you join me? Can we strive to eliminate our preformed thoughts and erase stereotypes and prejudices and get to know people for who they are regardless of outward appearance?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Ramblings

I'm here. New school. New place. New people. Busy. I haven't been making time to spend with Lord. I long for the time. I am lazy. I know He is present. I know he loves me. I know he brought me here. There are so many different thoughts and perspectives being thrown at me. I'm striving to cling to truth. I have to spend time every day with the Lord. I have to make time. I'm terrible at getting up early to have quiet times. I'm so thankful for grace. I'm good at putting on a smile for every person I pass. I'm good at getting my homework done and making time to spend with friends. It's hard to have time to myself. I love this school, but I don't feel a purpose or a place yet. I am learning. I am already thinking differently. I am being challenged. I feel younger than the other sophomores but older than the true freshman. I'm stuck in limbo. I have been filled to the brim. I feel called to be here. I want to share Jesus with others. I want to share my heart with others. I don't want to just say that I'm here, "because it felt right." I don't want to share the abridged version of my story. I want to share how the Lord has changed my life with everyone I meet. I'm here because the Lord lead me here. I'm sure of that. I don't want to just be fun and silly all the time. I long for deep conversations. I have to reach out to people. I want to pass the "hey, how are you?" relationships and get to the "hey, how are YOU?" I want people to know me. I want to know others. I want to share Jesus with high schoolers. My heart aches for kids that aren't loved. I know that it will be hard. I know that my time is going to be stretched. I know that it will be worth it. I believe that with my whole heart. I want to share my life with high school students. I want them to know Christ. Nothing that I do will change hearts, only the Lord can change hearts. I long to be used by Christ. I'm striving to be a vessel of His. I want to be filled with Christ's love. I want to let go of control. I want to be broken. That scares me. I know that there is much about my heart that I ignore. I want the brokenness in the depths of my heart to be revealed to me. I want to be molded into someone new. I am not perfect. But I am loved.