So the countdown begins, 6 days (including today) until I leave for school. WOAH. I'm not ready at all and ready at the same time. I wake up every morning and my stomach sinks when I remember that it's just one day closer. I'm a worrier. I let worry consume me and then I break, which has been happening a lot lately.
My dad led the liturgy today in church and he said that he had realized that even though he was spending time with the Lord, he still felt out of it and wasn't feeling God's presence. I could relate. It felt like God was speaking to me through him. My dad said he finally realized that it was himself getting in the way of letting the Holy Spirit in and challenged us to think about what ways we get in the way of our relationship and longing to be with God. Mine is worry. I become consumed in my worries and even though I know I should be giving them over to God and letting him comfort me, I struggle. 1 Peter 5:7- "Cast all your anxieties upon Him because He cares for you," is one of my favorite verses and one I struggle with most. I let my worries get in the way of God's peace.
I'm very nervous about leaving. I have so many "what ifs:" What if we get there and moving in isn't as easy as they say it will be? What if we hit traffic on the way down and are late? I have a meeting that night, what if I miss meeting people in my dorm because of my meeting? What if I don't have enough time with my parents before the meeting?
I know everything will work out in the end, it's just so much change. I don't want to leave my family and friends. It's just weird to think that I only have one week left. I know that it's all in God's hands, but my goal this week is to really commit my worries to prayer. I know I will enjoy this last week so much more if I do.
Anyways, I was going to sing this song today in church, but I knew I wouldn't be able to make it through. It relates my life way to much right now for me to sing it without crying. There is so much truth in this song and a great going away song. I am determined to let my light shine at UT. I'm pretty sure this is gonna turn into my anthem for first semester.
You are Beautifully and Wonderfully Made,