Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A New Day

On Monday, I was chatting with one of my best friends about blogging while we were road-tripping it to Short Pump to get her computer fixed. She made a point that she purposely does not write for her readers. She makes a point to make her blog about her and what she wants to write and share. That really got me thinking. I so often get wrapped up in what people will think about what I write. My thought so often is: "I want to be inspiring, to not offend people, to be entertaining." I often don't blog because I don't feel like I have anything important to say. 

From now on, I'm going to blog from the heart. No restraints. If you don't want to read, fine. This blog is for me. Feel free to read and hopefully you will enjoy what you do. But I'm not going to change who I am or purposefully hold back opinions because they may be controversial. I want to speak bold words filled with salt. This blog is for me. It will reflect my heart (hopefully a heart for Christ). That is my goal.

I have been very inconsistant with my quiet times recently. Overall, this year was the most consistant I have ever been in the Word. Being away from home and away from my high school community, I really had to rely on the Lord. I made it a priority to be in the Word. I longed for it. I found my strength in Him. This past month, though, I have not been so consistant. I've let school and friends and tennis take priority. I could get up early to spend time with God, but I don't. I let myself sleep in until the last possible minute. In this time of transition, when I should be leaning on the Lord with my whole being, I'm trying to take control. I'm scraping dry. I'm trying to pour myself out, when I'm not in the Word. 

I follow Jarrid Wilson on Twitter, and he has been in the Word every day for the past 276 days straight. It's such an inspiration to me. Even though it's a daunting challenge, I am going to try and read the Bible every day this summer. I need it. I long for it. I know I can't get through without Christ leading me. I won't be the person He designed me to be unless I allow Him to break me and shape my heart. 

I have been reading through My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. This morning during my quiet time, he focused on Luke 14:26-28. 

Luke 14:26-28

New International Version (NIV)
26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?"
This is such a convicting passage. Two things that Oswald commented on this passage really struck me:
"This verse teaches us that the only men and women our Lord will use in His building enterprises are those who love Him personally, passionately, and with great devotion-- those who have a love for Him that goes far beyond any of the closest relationships on earth." 
"Profoundly speaking, we can never work for God. Jesus, as the Master Builder, takes us over so that He may direct and control us completely for His enterprises and His building plans; and no one has any right to demand where He will be put to work." 
I have to let go of control. Strive to love the Lord more than anything or anyone on earth.

YOU are Beautifully and Wonderfully Made.


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