Yesterday during my quiet time I was thinking about what it means to be a hypocrite and the different types of hypocrites. I often pride myself in not being the type of hypocrite that first comes to mind; one that goes directly against their word about a certain action. What comes to mind immediately is people on college campuses stating that they are Christian and then turning around and getting completely drunk every weekend. I tend to get on this high horse because for the most part, I strive to make my actions reflect what I believe. As I was thinking about it, I realized that I am just as much of a hypocrite as the people I so often judge. By judging them, I'm being a hypocrite. I claim to love Jesus, so why am I not acting like him? He would embrace those people, love them regardless, and I tend to automatically put myself in a higher "moral class" than them because in my mind, by me not drinking, I'm not as bad of a hypocrite as they are. FALSE. I'm just as bad. I don't love people as well as I should. I so often let myself become comfortable in the people I hang around and the way I act. I become consumed about me. My problems, my loneliness, my struggles, who I'm hanging out with, when I should be always striving to be like Him. While I was reflecting on all this, I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I really strived to show Christ's love to all. Yeah, it's easy to be a "good" person, but I so often do it for myself in order to make friends or seem like a nice individual. If I don't go into with the intentions of showing the love of God, what point is there? By not acting on what I claim I believe, I'm being just as much as a hypocrite as the "hypocrites" I see on campus and I have no right to judge. I gossip, I judge people, I put others down so I feel better about myself. How is that any different than what I see others doing? So, even though I don't usually do New Years resolutions, I think this is going to be mine: I am going to strive to strive to not be a hypocrite. I am going to be aware of my actions and not judge others because of theirs. I have no right to do so and am only turing people off to Christ by doing so. And is that what I'm called to do as a Christian? NOPE. It's the exact opposite. I'm obviously can't do it all on my own, the Lord can only change my heart, but I am now going to let him. I'm trying to let go of those feelings and make a change.
To all who have felt judged by me: I'm sorry, truly. I hope you can forgive me.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5
As my computer is slowly but surely backing up onto my much neglected hard drive, I figured I might as well post again. Dude, posting three times in two days! It's a new record fo sho.
Recently I've been reflecting on how much I love my family. I'm so incredibly blessed with a family that loves and supports me unconditionally. They pray for me and I pray for them while I'm at school. They supported me when I decided to go out of state, taking on an enormous amount of debt, because we all believe that UT is where the Lord wanted me to be. Going to school so far away has especially made me appreciate them. I miss my family when I'm away, but I know that I will be welcomed home. My dad took the day off of work today just to be able to have one last whole day with the six of us home before I head back to UT for spring semester. I am looking forward to going back, because I know that I will always have my family. Now as I am feeling called to serve the Lord in a different capacity, my family is behind me one hundred percent. I have a never ending support system and I am so thankful for them.
Also, yesterday a friend of mine asked me to share my testimony for a project he's working on. Feel free to check it out. :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family to yours!
